This song chronicles a love triangle between a marrying couple and a gay friend. The friend asks "William" why he is marrying a "fat girl" who "doesn't care about anything." It would seem that the friend had an affair with William in the past, but William is now in denial of his homosexuality and is marrying a woman instead - much to the friend's dismay. This is widely believed to be about front man Morrissey's friendship with William "Billy" Mackenzie, lead singer of the Scottish post-punk band, Associates. In 1993, Associates recorded "Stephen, You're Really Something" in response (Morrissey's first name is Steven).
Morrissey said of this song: "It occurred to me that within popular music if ever there were any records that discussed marriage they were always from the female's standpoint - female singers singing to women, whenever there were any songs saying 'do not marry, stay single, self-preservation' etc. I thought it was about time there was a male voice speaking directly to another male saying that marriage was a waste of time...that, in fact, it was 'absolutely nothing.'"
The lyrics took inspiration from Billy Liar, a 1959 novel by Keith Waterhouse about a working-class British teenager who dreams of making it big as a comedy writer.
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