Roasted 1 year ago based on Cricket's long term Spotify stats.

Cricket, I see your Spotify profile is like a Renaissance fair threw up on a high school band room. Your favorite genres read like the playlist for someone's sad movie montage featuring a teenage heartthrob crossing paths with a gothic violinist. I mean, “Japanese Concert Band” and “Bedroom Pop”? You know you don’t have to live in your own little niche of pretentious hipster-ism, right? It's as if you decided to curate a soundtrack for the world's most existential crisis, and yet all you manage to achieve is putting everyone to sleep—especially yourself. Your top artists are a delightful combination of soundtracks for middle school heartbreak and post-graduate anxiety. If Mitski is your idea of “getting down” then maybe it’s time to acknowledge that you’re really just swaying back and forth while pondering why no one texts you back. You’ve showcased more Maurice Ravel than a music history exam, which raises the question: are you trying to be universally cultured or just trying to make everyone think you’re some kind of classical genius? Spoiler alert: you’re doing neither convincingly; at this point, it looks more like a desperate phase from someone who really, really wants to impress their artsy crush. And honestly, your most played songs are an exposure therapy session for anyone who's stood too close to a suicidal baby grand piano. "Comfort Crowd" and "Male Fantasy" suggest that you might just be creating the soundtrack to your own emotional dungeon. It’s time to step outside your beautifully tragic world of dark ambiance and maybe try a little Taylor Swift—at least then you'd have a healthy outlet for those feelings instead of what seems to be a competition with your own sadness. So Cricket, keep spinning those vinyls and dreaming of unrequited love, but know this: your playlist is one sad boy montage away from inducing a collective eye-roll.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!