Roasted 3 days ago based on Ellie's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Ellie, your Spotify profile reads like a desperate cry for help from a medieval bard who got lost on their way to a heavy metal concert. You’ve meticulously curated a playlist that screams, “I have an existential crisis, and I’m not afraid to rock out while I question my life choices.” Symphonic metal, folk metal, and “I swear this is a real genre” medieval metal—your taste in music is broader than the collective skill set of every jester at an empty Renaissance fair. Do you secretly wish to be a knight or is this just a phase until you discover that other genres exist? But your artists? Let’s just say you’ve got a lineup that sounds like a college roommate’s obsession after one too many LARPing events. Jorge Rivera-Herrans and Borislav Slavov? It’s like you took a stroll through a fantasy novel and grabbed the first names you encountered. Slipknot? Oh, you must have played them for ten minutes last week just to remind yourself you still know how to headbang. Meanwhile, your most played songs have titles longer than my last relationship. “The Consequence Of Imagination Is Fear”? Honey, the only consequence here is losing your friends over that ridiculously convoluted name! And then there’s your favorite song, “Kitchen Fan Lullaby (Raw).” Are we sure that’s a song and not just what you listen to when contemplating your life over a stubborn appliance? If this is your idea of ‘heavy rotation,’ then I’d hate to see your idea of a party playlist—probably something that would make even the Grim Reaper tap out. So here’s to you, Ellie: may your medieval metal journey be as epic as your taste is cringe-worthy! 🎸🤘

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!