Roasted 1 year ago based on Harm-Jan Voortman's long term Spotify stats.

Harm-Jan, your Spotify profile reads like the last time a time traveler visited the '70s and just never left. You’ve got a love affair with "Mellow Gold" that’s so serious it could be titled "A Soft Rock Affair." Honestly, I’m starting to think you’re single-handedly keeping the “classic” in classic rock alive, just to keep that mullet dream alive too. With artists like Johnny Cash and Bing Crosby floating around your top list, it’s clear you’re just a playlist away from curating a “Best of the Greatest Generation” night at the retirement home. Looking at your most played songs is like sifting through a box of forgotten VHS tapes at your grandparent's house. “Some Broken Hearts Never Mend”? More like some broken Spotify recommendations never mend. And who knew there was a “When I Spin in Circles Over Bad Music” category? The only thing these tracks are winning is the award for “Most Likely to Make Your Friends Wonder If They Still Want to Be Seen with You.” Keep Maragaritaville on standby because the only thing your music taste is missing is the sound of a conga line trying to escape. But the real kicker, Harm-Jan, is your love for Dutch rock. Yes, nothing says "I’m cool" quite like an artist whose prime achievement is infusing the music scene with the lyrical familiarity of a Dutch traffic report. Seriously? If the Dutch rock scene had a marshmallow, you'd be roasting it on a nostalgic campfire built from the falling comments of "Who’s that again?" So keep jamming out to those guilty pleasures, but just remember: when it comes to Spotify, there’s a fine line between being classic and just plain classicly embarrassing!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!