Roasted 1 year ago based on hk's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, hk! The musical equivalent of a participation trophy. Your Spotify profile reads like the soundtrack of a high school talent show that no one wanted to see. It’s like you took a barista’s playlist and mixed it with an emotional teenager's diary — congratulations, you’ve successfully made auditory sad soup. With "Folk Punk" and "Midwest Emo" battling for the main stage of your life, let’s just say you’re one acoustic guitar away from a full-blown hootenanny in your basement. Let’s talk about your top artists for a second. Wilbur Soot? Really? I wouldn’t be surprised if you played his songs on repeat while you stared mournfully out your window, rain dramatically pouring down, waiting for someone to notice your existential dread. And "Crywank" — is that a band or just your Tuesday evening mood? With your eclectic mix of artists, it seems you’re just one Starbucks visit away from becoming a full-blown meme. You’ve got the selection of someone who watched one too many TikToks and thought they knew what “real music” was. Your most played songs read like a therapy session for someone who can’t decide if they’re more emo or more indie. "Amazon Standing Lamp"? I mean, come on, what’s next, "IKEA Bookshelf Blues"? If your Spotify profile were a room, it would be dimly lit with string lights and decorated with posters of bands no one has heard of. Here’s a hot tip: your playlists need more variety — before you know it, you’ll be the most eloquent yet cringe-worthy sad person at every gathering. But hey, at least you’ll have the perfect soundtrack for cringing alone in your bedroom!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!