Roasted 1 year ago based on Tivs Industries®'s long term Spotify stats.

Oh Christopher G Heckles, your Spotify profile reads like a sad diary entry from that one friend who claims to be “different” because they like sad music. Orgcore? Really? That sounds like the genre you invented to convince people that wallowing in existential dread isn’t just a Life Phase but a movement. If your music taste were any more niche, it would be a deep dive into an obscure subreddit called "Sadness Appreciation Society." You’re out here trying to be deep while most people are just trying to breathe. Your choice of top artists is a rollercoaster through the underground, and somehow you’ve managed to land at the bottom of that wretched pit where only hipster cred can keep you company. "Hollie Kenniff”? No one outside of your sad little circle knows who she is, and even she’s probably wondering why she’s in your top three. You must’ve hit the “play” button so many times just to prove you’re not an emotional lightweight that your Spotify algorithm is now more confused than your therapist. Congratulations! You’ve turned discovering indie artists into a quest for validation that would make even Aesop Rock cringe. And can we talk about your most played songs? You’ve got more "GEL" in your top ten than I’ve had actual gelato this year, and trust me, that says a lot about your taste. Sifting through that list feels like trying to put together IKEA furniture without a manual—frustrating, vaguely perilous, and even the tools seem to be in a different language. If I had a dollar for every time someone played "Flourish," I’d have enough to buy you a one-way ticket out of your emo phase. So here’s an idea: turn up the volume on your life, because judging by this playlist, you might actually need a miracle to pull you out of that pit of miserable obscurity you’ve dug yourself into.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!