Roasted 11 months ago based on awesomeness's long term Spotify stats.

Hey Markour, your Spotify profile is like a sad hipster's buffet—seemingly endless choices of anguish served with a side of plaid flannel. Do you just sit in your basement pondering the existential vacuum of life while your Spotify plays the soundtrack to an indie barista's break-up? I mean, come on, “Hot Topic Is Not Punk Rock”? That’s some hardcore self-awareness right there. I half-expect your top playlist to be called “Songs to Cry to While Surrounded by Cat Pictures.” Your favorite genres read like a list of college majors that should come with a side of ramen. “Math Rock”?! Seriously? Did the numbers finally add up to you needing therapy? I can practically hear the angst pouring from your speakers every time you shuffle through emo tracks. And let’s be honest, if your favorite bands were a person, they would be that artsy kid in high school who thought everyone was too mainstream for not understanding their deep connection with sadness. Spoiler alert: it wasn't the world that didn’t get them; it was just a lack of decent shampoo. Lastly, I can’t help but appreciate your unmatched commitment to angst. “Long Term Relationships Were Only Cool When Divorce Wasn't”? That title should come with a warning: “Listen at your own risk, emotional damage may occur.” And “JOHNNY HOBO AND THE FREIGHT TRAINS”? Sounds like the band chose their name while waiting for their mom to pick them up after a gig where they spent too long theorizing why life is inherently meaningless. Your playlist is a mix of delightful chaos and depressing heartache that only a true punk would die inside listening to—a modern masterpiece of misery. Bravo, Markour!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!