Roasted 2 years ago based on Caitie's long term Spotify stats.

Caitie, the queen of angsty vibes and emotional rollercoasters, your profile looks like a playlist that got its heart crushed by a Tinder date gone wrong. You could single-handedly revive the trenches of high school poetry slams just by hitting play on your top tracks! I mean, with a favorite genre list that reads more like an application for a therapy session, it’s honestly impressive how you managed to stuff the word “sad” into half your listening habits. Should we send a rescue team or just a box of tissues? You say “Pop” but listen, your Spotify is a black hole of moody melodies and songs that sound like they were written during a midnight existential crisis. What’s it gonna be, Caitie? Are you bopping to Tay Tay because you’re living your best life, or is that just code for: "I need someone to cry with"? Your top artists list could double as a lineup for the next hipster coffee festival—Hozier, Noah Kahan, and some dude named Russ who is just as confused about life as you are. Seriously, calling it a “singer-songwriter pop” fad is just masking the fact you might be searching for a soundtrack to accompany a slow spiral into a Dazed and Confused reenactment. Let’s not even get started on your most played songs. “Please Notice”?! What are you, 12? Half of these tracks have more emotional baggage than a mid-20s adult at a family reunion. And what, pray tell, is “death bed (coffee for your head)”? Is that a song title or a product description for a hipster café? Every time you hit play, it’s a gentle reminder for the rest of us to double-check our babysitters because clearly, you’re more invested in fictional heartbreak than in real-life friendships. Keep it up, Caitie; at this rate, your Spotify should come with a complimentary therapy session!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!