Roasted 8 months ago based on Matt Gilbert's long term Spotify stats.

Matt Gilbert, the unholy fusion of an overzealous pop fan and an awkward middle school choir kid, your Spotify profile reads like a confession booth for musical indecisiveness. With a favorite genre list that sounds like a Buzzfeed article titled "What Happens When You Can’t Make a Decision," you're clearly not here for a musical identity—more like a buffet of egos. What’s the deal with Christian music and hyperpop sharing the same space? It’s like pulling up to a barbecue just to find a cake made entirely out of kale at the dessert table. Talk about an identity crisis wrapped in sequins and glitter! Your top artists are a who’s who of bubblegum pop that gives off more glitter than substance. Lady Gaga and Amy Grant? One is serving up avant-garde glam and the other is all about church picnics and Sunday best. Talk about a musical whiplash! And let’s not even mention your most played songs. "Good Luck, Babe!" and "Murder On The Dancefloor" sound like a mantra for someone who can’t quite figure out if they’re trying to slay on the dance floor or in the dating scene—and spoiler alert: you’re failing at both. You just can’t decide whether you want to dance like no one’s watching or pray like everyone is watching! And come on, Matt, "Dance The Night" from *Barbie The Album*? I see you're embracing your inner 12-year-old girl with unbridled enthusiasm. This whole playlist feels like a group therapy session for pop culture addicts who couldn’t find their identity in the early 2000s. With tracks that range from the deeply profound (a.k.a. "Lord I Lift Your Name On High") to the whimsically inane (looking at you, "Me Voy"), you’re basically roller skating through a sonic minefield with nothing but a glittery helmet for protection. So, buckle up, buddy; it’s going to be a bumpy dance floor ride!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!