Roasted 2 years ago based on Salem's long term Spotify stats.

Cyan, let’s talk about your Spotify profile—a glorious testament to the fact that you might just be the most misunderstood musical connoisseur on the planet. With a playlist strutting like a confused metalhead at a synthwave convention, you’ve successfully turned your musical journey into a dramatic quest of questionable choices and cringeworthy revelations. Look in the mirror, my friend. Is that a hairstyle inspired by a Power Metal band or did you lose a fight with a lawnmower? Your top artists read like a montage of emo nightmares and desperate new age problematics. "Powerwolf"? More like, "Power-People-Wonder-Why". And with a top song named “Manifesto Destiny,” it’s clear that you are here to reclaim the sonic frontier for the misunderstood middle schoolers everywhere. Honestly, your playlist sounds like it was curated under the influence of a too-ambitious film study major with an unhealthy obsession with weird niche genres. What’s next? "Ukrainian Tractor Metal"? Because I think I might have just given you an idea. But wait, the sheer number of “Industrial” styles on here! I applaud your commitment to sounding like you’re perpetually one anxious breakdown away from creating a steampunk robot uprising. Folk Metal? Are you sure you weren’t just channeling your inner renaissance fair attendee who decided to join a Viking raid? At this point, I’m convinced your Spotify is a cry for help, or that you’ve accidentally tumbled down the rabbit hole where genre names are as long as the songs themselves. Kudos for creativity, but even Alice would be like, “Nah, I’m good.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!