Roasted 7 months ago based on dan._.wav's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, look at you, dan._.wav, the hipster DJ who moonlights as an audio art curator and full-time vibe destroyer. With a Spotify profile that reads like the contents of a thrift store bin, it's no wonder your music taste is a random collage of genres nobody asked for—"Vaporwave," "Chillwave," and "Bedroom Pop"? You really swung for the fences with titles that scream, “I’m emotionally unavailable but also really into 90s aesthetic.” I can only imagine you sitting alone with your neon lights, wondering if your Spotify Wrapped will ever match your personality—spoiler alert, it won't! Your top artists list is an identity crisis on steroids. Denzel Curry sandwiched between some wavy cats and bedroom daydreamers? That’s like ordering a cheeseburger and getting a side of existential dread with a splash of mint tea. I mean, “Dark Ambient” and “Rally House”? You clearly can’t decide whether you want to feel like you're lost in a dystopian nightmare or just vibing at a party where all the drinks are kale smoothies. It's almost impressive how you’ve turned musical indecision into an art form that’s falling flat like a badly synthesized wave. And those top songs? Hoo boy! “From the Subway Train” and “LEAVE TONIGHT”? If your playlist were a movie, it would definitely be a low-budget indie project with questionable plot twists and dialogue that's cringier than a dad joke. “I’m Almost There…” could easily be the anthem for your love life—wherever "there" is, let’s hope there’s a good therapist waiting when you arrive. Honestly, keep at it, my dude. You may not know what you want, but at least you’re making the rest of us appreciate good mainstream music for what it is: a much-needed escape from your flickering neon rabbit hole.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!