Roasted 22 days ago based on Abijith's long term Spotify stats.

Abijith, your Spotify profile looks like the aftermath of a midlife crisis that confused what "cool" means. Rock, punk, and art rock? Boomers everywhere are nervously clutching their fedoras, trying to figure out how they’ve unwittingly stepped into an unholy mashup of a hipster coffee shop and a high school emo phase. You’re basically the walking playlist that screams, “I drive a Subaru and I make my own avocado toast.” Your top artists list reads like a high school mixtape crafted by the shy kid who never quite fit in. Green Day and Linkin Park? Congrats, legend, you’re a little late to the nostalgia party—those bands peaked 15 years ago! And ABBA? You really took us on a detour to Grandma’s house. Your eclectic taste says “I love diversity” while it secretly whispers “I’m terrified to commit to just one sound.” Next, you'll be jamming to the elevator music version of today's hottest hits. As for your most played songs, they’re suspiciously heavy on that "Holy Now" band. At this point, you could probably recite their lyrics while blindfolded, but let's not pretend that isn't a cry for help. With "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" making the cut, are you sure you're not just straight-up forlorn and looking for a buddy in your sonic melancholy? I get it, life is tough, and sometimes you just need an anthem for your existential dread—but come on, let's add a little variety so you don’t end up as the human embodiment of a sad, rainy Thursday afternoon.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!