Roasted 2 years ago based on Alex Exum's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Alex, your Spotify profile reads like a Craigslist ad for someone extremely indecisive. "POV: Indie"? It's like you're trying to get every indie artist on your resume without actually committing to a single genre. At this point, your favorite genres list looks more like a buffet of mediocrity, where the only thing getting served is an endless loop of existential dread and overdrafted tears while you listen to female pop artists cry about relationships. Seriously, you must have used Simon Cowell’s advice of “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” for your music taste, except now you’re left with a nest full of confused bird songs and uncertain vibes. And let’s talk about your top artists. Taylor Swift and Dua Lipa? Congrats, it’s like you’ve managed to squeeze a whole stadium full of girls and their acceptance speeches into your library. Lizzy McAlpine and Clairo? I didn’t know a “sad girl music” subgenre existed where everybody's just a melancholic TikToker drinking iced coffee. And by the way, if I see another post crediting “Greta Van Fleet” for “saving rock” I’m going to scream. It’s not saving rock, it’s just putting it in the same graveyard where it can finally rest after being overplayed by people who think plaid shirts are a personality trait. Your "Most Played Songs" list is basically a sob-fest masquerading as a dance party. Olivia Rodrigo must think you’re her therapist at this point. “get him back!” is the anthem for every time you forgot your password, right? And don’t even get me started on “Dance, Baby!” — is that your battle cry for trying to convince people you’re a fun person at parties? Honestly, with that playlist, it sounds like the soundtrack to a rom-com where the lead deserves to end up alone. Step up, Alex! You're more than just a collection of “sad girl” playlists and pop anthems. You can do better… or at least pretend to.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!