Roasted 6 months ago based on eli's long term Spotify stats.

Eli, looking at your playlist is like taking a time machine back to the early 2000s, but instead of a nostalgic trip, we’re greeted with a cringe fest that makes even your MP3 player want to commit seppuku. "Madchester" and "Britpop"? Seriously, did you just walk out of a retro thrift shop and forget to leave the 90s behind? Spare us the drama of your emo phase; I mean, you have both Midwest Emo and Folk Punk on your list, which says a lot about your emotional range—or lack thereof. Your top artists scream "I’m too cool for mainstream,” but we all know you just couldn’t find the courage to embrace a single pop star. “Kings of Leon” and “Blur” are fine, but do you think you’re impressing anyone with “Los Campesinos!”? They’ve got more niche clout than you do real friends, and at this point, we’re just questioning your taste in British bands. How many ironic T-shirts do you own that proudly display your love for “Dizzee Rascal” and “LCD Soundsystem”? Newsflash: nothing says “I peaked in high school” quite like loving a DJ collective and a band known more for their grand existential crises than for actual friends to share their sound with. Now, let's not even get started on your most played songs. "Unhappy" by Outkast? Is that a reflection of your emotional state or just your last failed Tinder date? And “Float On” by Modest Mouse? Such irony! At this point, you'd have better luck floating aimlessly down a river of regret than actually establishing a coherent identity through your music choices. With gems like “Hope” by Shaggy squeezed in with "Good Enough" by Serial Killaz, it’s clear we’re all just living in the matrix of your chaotic Spotify journey. Your profile screams “Help! I need a therapist, but I’ll settle for playing the sad guy on a volume that drowns out real-life nonsense.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!