Roasted 1 year ago based on User's long term Spotify stats.

Congratulations, User! Your Spotify profile perfectly encapsulates the sonic equivalent of watching paint dry while a funeral dirge plays in the background. With genres like "Funeral Doom" and "Drone Metal," it’s clear you’re not just here for the music; you’re here to prepare your friends for the emotional rollercoaster that is your Saturday night alone with your thoughts and a box of tissues. Who needs vibrancy and life in their playlists when you can bask in the radiant glow of nihilism and unending sadness, right? Your top artists read like the lineup for a "Has Anyone Ever Actually Listened to This?" convention. I mean, Will Ackerman? The man puts the "meh" in "melancholy." And let’s not even start on that catchy gem you found: "2003 Toyota Corolla." A song about a car that definitely has more mileage than your dating life—almost as if it’s trying to simulate the heartfelt sadness of your Tinder matches. It’s a miracle Spotify hasn’t made a ‘please stop’ button just for you. Do you listen to your playlist while staring at clouds or while plotting the perfect, soul-crushing Instagram caption? And those most-played songs—what a glorious compilation of self-loathing! With titles like "Disintegrate" and "No Place to Arrive," it feels like your music library could double as a self-help manual for existential crises. After all, who needs therapy when you have "Rhinoceros" by Grief on repeat to soothe your soul? I can practically hear the moans of your neighbors as they wonder if they should check on you or just accept that you’ve fully committed to the soundtrack of despair. Plug in those earbuds, User; the world needs a reminder that not all sadness is sad. Some of it’s just you.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!