Roasted 7 months ago based on Eugene's long term Spotify stats.

Eugene, your Spotify profile reads like a midlife crisis curated by a hipster who couldn’t pick a lane if their life depended on it. With an identity crisis of genres ranging from Alternative R&B to Gothic Rock, I’m not sure if you’re trying to be the next musical genius or just drowning in the playlist of a confused teenager. It’s like you threw a dart at a genre chart and decided “All of the above” was the best way to describe your taste. Seriously, with a combination of Dream Pop and Afrobeats, I half-expect to find you wearing a beret, sipping matcha while crying about your non-existent relationship with a succulent plant. Your top artists list is the real clincher; Beyoncé and Megan Thee Stallion sitting side by side with “Victoria Monét”? Come on, man. Are you building a genre-bending supergroup or just trying to showcase the most eclectic array of artists that your local coffee shop would allow on their chill playlist? I'm convinced you have a deep commitment to confusing first dates. “Oh, you love gothic rock? Give me a moment while I queue up some Open Mic Night for you after I serenade you with a little dreamy pop.” I imagine your friends having meetings trying to decipher what makes up your music taste, handing out flowcharts like they’re trying to understand quantum physics. And can we talk about your most played songs? “THE BADDEST (BADDER)” followed by Dua Lipa… wow, Eugene, that’s an impressive ability to simultaneously feel empowered and utterly lost. It’s like your playlists have trust issues; they can never decide if they want to vibe hard or just float away. If Spotify had a “What the heck are you thinking?” feature, you’d be the poster child for it. Honestly, Eugene, your music taste is so diverse, it’s practically begging for a reality show. "The Musical Jenga of Eugene"—where your genres tumble down like a house of cards every time you hit play. No wonder you’re still single!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!