Roasted 10 hours ago based on gloria ★'s long term Spotify stats.

Gloria, your Spotify profile is like a carnival: colorful, confusing, and probably best avoided by anyone with good taste. Seriously, "Bedroom Pop"? Sounds more like the genre you stumble into when you've locked yourself in your room for too long and run out of excuses not to clean. And hyperpop? That’s just the sound of a hundred Pitchfork writers collectively screaming because their Wi-Fi is buffering. No wonder you need that much "trap metal"—it's like the auditory therapy you resort to in case the sad reality of your music choices gets too much to handle. Your top artists read like a high schooler's Spotify account that was created during a particularly rough breakup. Oh, Will Paquin? A name I can only assume is the musical equivalent of indie coffee shops—overly pretentious, but with just enough charm to trap you for an entire afternoon. And Megan Thee Stallion juxtaposed with the emotional outpouring of "Jibby’s Theme"? I can't tell if you’re preparing for the next club banger or a one-person therapy session that involves too many snacks and zero self-awareness. Those most played songs would send any music lover running for the hills. Who needs variety when you can listen to “Will Paquin” on repeat like he's the soundtrack to your existential dread? It’s like you found a karaoke machine that only has one song and decided that’s all you need for your personal mixtape of despair. “Our World Is Falling Apart”? More like your music choices are, Gloria! Congratulations, you've single-handedly redefined the phrase "guilty pleasure." If only guilt could convince you to branch out a little—maybe even throw in a genre that doesn’t sound like the audio version of a sad TikTok.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!