Roasted 5 months ago based on miranda ☆'s long term Spotify stats.

Miranda ☆, where do we even start with your music taste? Your profile reads like a guide for a pretentious hipster who walked into a record store and just randomly picked ten sad albums based on who had the best cover art. Congratulations! You’ve mastered the art of curating a playlist that sounds like a cry for help at a coffee shop open mic night. Seriously, you're so deep in your shoegaze era that I half-expect to find you staring blankly at a wall, wearing earplugs, while sipping on overpriced, organic, gluten-free kale juice. Let's analyze those top artists: Jeff Buckley and Mazzy Star must be rolling in their graves every time you hit 'shuffle.' It's like you desperately want to embrace the melancholic validation of being sad and obscure—but let’s face it, you’re just a five-foot-tall bundle of anxiety drowning in the sweet sounds of a thousand overplayed, melancholy guitar riffs. Have you ever considered that "Mom Jeans" was meant ironically? You’d know if you put down the gloom for just a moment and bounced to something outside the realm of tracks that literally sound like they were recorded underwater. And can we talk about that most played list? “If You Knew - Live at Sin-é” is a gem, but I’m convinced it's your anthem because it resonates with the hours you feel like the world’s biggest loser in your mom’s basement. If I were to listen to half of those songs back-to-back, I’d likely need therapy just to recover from the collective sadness. Mix in something upbeat for once, Miranda! You could use a little sunshine instead of constantly bathing in the faded echoes of your dark, introverted playlist. Spice it up—because honestly, no one should be sadder than the playlist they listen to!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!