Roasted 1 year ago based on Juan Suero's long term Spotify stats.

Juan Suero, huh? The man with a Spotify profile that reads like the soundtrack to a hipster coffee shop that just can't commit to a single vibe. Are you looking for musical variety, or did you just throw a bunch of trendy genre names into a blender and hope for the best? Indie, dream pop, stutter house – is this a playlist or an existential crisis? I wouldn’t be surprised if your entire music library is just a series of sad acoustic songs about avocado toast and overpriced lattes. Your top artists list is littered with so many obscure names it looks like a Tinder profile for an emotionally unavailable musician. The 1975? Great choice if you want to rock out to a band that’s basically an auditory emoji of “please don’t talk to me at parties.” And "Last Dinosaurs"? Are you trying to win over paleontologists or are you just bummed that your favorite band will probably never release a new album due to their geological age? If you want to pitch a tent in the realm of musical desperation, at least bring a fire pit for that warm, fuzzy feeling of mediocrity. As for your most played songs, I'm starting to think you have a crush on your own playlist. “Surefire”? More like “surefire way to never get a date.” And "Sin documentos"? Sounds like your love life—evidence lost, never to be found. But I’ll give you this, Juan: You're a connoisseur of sad jams that perfectly match your inability to make any meaningful decisions in life. Keep rocking that eclectic blend of confusion and heartbreak; at least it’s good for some laughs!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!