Roasted 2 months ago based on Lucas's long term Spotify stats.

Lucas, your Spotify profile is a wild ride through the most baffling corners of music taste. French rap, pop, and a sprinkle of alternative metal? It’s like you took a dart and blindfolded yourself, then just threw it at a list of genres while standing in front of a "how to be pretentious" manual. Seriously, who decided that a person should have to choose between sampling the lyrical genius of SCH and screaming along to Linkin Park? It’s like pairing a croissant with a side of heartbreak – they don’t belong on the same plate! Your favorite artists read like a culinary menu at a hipster café where nobody actually speaks English. “Ooh, I’ll have the Indochine with a side of PNL and a touch of Jok’air.” What’s next, an artisanal latte made from fabled beans plucked by fairies? The only thing remotely stable about your music taste is that it seems to be designed entirely for a mid-life crisis that you don’t even have yet. If you listened to a new artist every day, you might finally make a decision that isn’t made in the lemming-esque rhythm of your Spotify “Discover Weekly.” And those most played songs? “Comic sans MS”? Really? If I wanted a laugh, I’d just scroll through the comments section of a political video on YouTube. Your list has the same amount of coherence as a drunken conversation at a French festival. “Nothing Else Matters” by Miley Cyrus just feels like a spontaneous “I give up” anthem, but *this* is your only real shout-out to mainstream Americana – calm down, we’ve already established that you’re diverse. Until then, keep enjoying your “French House” with its Eiffel Tower-shaped soundwaves; maybe one day you’ll realize that a little more diversity could spark an actual love for music, rather than just an elaborate attempt to confuse a music festival first-timer!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!