Roasted 11 months ago based on lucian's long term Spotify stats.

Hey there, HEY123JUHU! With a Spotify profile like yours, I can’t tell if you’re curating the soundtrack for an art school drop-out’s existential crisis or just trying to out-emo the entire planet. Seriously, “Shoegaze” and “Slowcore”? It’s like your life goal is to embody every mood swing known to mankind while simultaneously putting an entire audience to sleep. You must be the life of the party—if the party is held in an abandoned warehouse and everyone’s being awfully pretentious about their obscure tastes. Your top artists read like a post-apocalyptic mixtape for an underground movie that’s never going to get made. “They Are Gutting a Body of Water”? Wow, not even the water is safe from your emotional outpour. Honestly, it seems like you compiled your list of favorite artists during a dark night of the soul mixed with a few too many sips from an artisanal coffee cup. And I can’t help but wonder if “Brutalismus 3000” is a euphemism for your taste in music, because that’s exactly how it feels to listen to your playlist—like a brutal assault on any semblance of rhythm or cheerfulness. And then there are those most played songs! Let’s unpack this; half of them sound like they belong in a playlist titled “Sadness Overload: Maximum Edition.” You’ve really mastered the art of listening to songs that could soundtrack both a breakup and an impending meltdown. To top it off, what’s with the obsession for “Crystal Castles”? I know you must think you’re just avant-garde and artsy, but even your Spotify algorithm is secretly judging how profoundly tortured you must be. You know it’s bad when even Spotify suggests a therapist over a new playlist.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!