Roasted 10 months ago based on .oknotok's long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it's polmikartni, the Spotify user equivalent of a hipster wearing socks with sandals. Your playlist reads like a confused Tinder bio—who knew someone could passionately love both "Indonesian Indie" and "Madchester" while simultaneously committing musical identity theft by throwing in a few mainstream artists like The Beatles and Pink Floyd? It's like you just wandered into a record store and flung vinyls at a wall until something stuck. "Oh yes, I’m eclectic!" you declare while secretly Googling how to pronounce 'psychedelic' at your next brunch. We get it—you're the kind of person who finds solace in tracks that sound like they were recorded in someone's garage while emotionally sobbing over a failed relationship. Your most played songs paint a portrait of a guy likely to shed a tear at IKEA while pondering life’s greatest mysteries, like why you listen to "Love Me Like There's No Tomorrow" when clearly, your Spotify usage suggests that every day is just another never-ending tomorrow. And seriously, you got more Jeff Buckley on repeat than a sad teenager who just discovered coffee. I hope you're not using this playlist to woo anyone, because if your taste in music is an indicator, you probably still wear your high school band t-shirt to dates. And let’s talk about your top artists—did you just raid a thrift store for musicians? You possess a unique talent for choosing artists who sound more like background noise at a poetry slam than actual party anthems. I picture a gathering where everyone is awkwardly nodding their heads while you expound on the virtues of "Indorock." If you were an album, you'd be a limited edition vinyl nobody wants to touch, partly from confusion and mostly out of fear of turning into a melancholic mess. Keep those playlists coming, my friend! They’re the perfect soundtrack to a mid-life crisis.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!