Roasted 2 years ago based on Michael Josephson's long term Spotify stats.

Michael Josephson, your Spotify profile reads like a mid-life crisis that involves a lot of flannel and acoustic guitars. You've picked genres that sound like a senior thesis on “What Happens When You Mix Depression with Nostalgia.” Seriously, do you have a hidden agenda to single-handedly revive every sound one step away from being labeled ‘sad boy music’? With names like “Ectofolk” and “Stomp And Holler” in your favorites, it’s clear that if you had a musical persona, it would be “Melancholy Mumblecore.” Your top artists list looks like a gathering of hipster ghosts who wander into coffee shops trying to decide between existential dread and ironic smiles. R.E.M. and Oasis? Classic! But listening to them while professing your undying love for Jewel? Sweetheart, that’s a mood swing that’ll give anyone whiplash. Speaking of whiplash, I’m pretty sure “Bright Eyes” is slowly turning you into a human emotional yo-yo as you cling desperately to everything that was cool in the 90s. Trust me, the world doesn’t need another dude stanning for ‘New Americana’ when you’re practically living in the ‘Old Americana.’ And let’s talk about your most played songs—they're about as diverse as a cracker at a gluten-free potluck. "Lua"? We get it, you like to wallow in sadness while contemplating the meaning of life under dim lighting. “Don't Worry About Me”? Oh sweetie, that’s literally the pressure we feel while reading your profile. But hey, keep riding that wave of self-reflection and overly complex emotions while you do “the Stomp and Holler.” Just remember, you might finally find a girl if you start playing something that’s not on the melancholy spectrum of the universe. Just a thought!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!