Roasted 7 months ago based on april #*'s long term Spotify stats.

April, let’s take a moment to appreciate your Spotify profile, which reads like a hipster love letter written in 2003. Your favorite genres sound like the soundtrack to a high school art project, complete with angsty poetry and the faint smell of despair. “Shoegaze” and “Slowcore”? Are you trying to vibe out or just embrace the sound of your own emotional breakdown? Honestly, if you played half of these songs at a party, people might think it's an elaborate social experiment on how to clear a room. Your top artists list is like a cry for help wrapped in a flannel shirt. Wow, “waveform*” is your number one? What a bold choice—like going down to the local coffee shop and ordering decaf soy milk with extra foam while simultaneously mourning the death of the mainstream. And let’s not ignore those Japanese VGM tracks; are you secretly a gamer or just playing the long game to avoid adulting? Either way, you’ve managed to compile a playlist that feels more introverted than a cat trying to navigate a dog park, and I’m genuinely scared for your social life. Looking at your most played songs feels like a glimpse into your soul—or at least where you bury your self-esteem. “april” by “waveform*”? What’s next, a seven-minute instrumental piece dedicated to your unresolved feelings about high school? And “Mia & Sebastian’s Theme”? Sweetheart, this isn’t a Netflix rom-com; it’s your Spotify profile. Let’s be real, the only thing more predictable than your top songs is you pushing your feelings down deeper while listening to “Post-Hardcore” for a cathartic release. Maybe just throw in a few more cheerful songs—like “Sunshine and Rainbows—” so your friends will stop worrying about you during brunch!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!