Roasted 3 months ago based on abigail bernesky's long term Spotify stats.

Abigail Bernesky, your Spotify profile is like a middle school talent show—awkward, questionable, and somehow still a little charming. Musicals and folk? Congratulations, you’ve successfully trapped yourself in an eternal coffee shop where every barista thinks they’re the next indie sensation. Not to mention your top artists list reads like an overpriced flea market of tastes. “The Beatles” and “Carmen Cusack” shouldn’t even be allowed in the same room, much less on the same playlist. As for your most played songs, are you trying to cure a worse case of ennui than a freshly graduated L.A. philosophy major? “All About the Mom Bucks” might as well be the anthem for your Spotify struggle, showcasing your uncanny ability to put the ‘meh’ in ‘melodrama’. And “If You Knew My Story”—trust me, no one wants to hear that sob fest when they could be blasting real jams instead. Your vibe screams “adulting, but like... can you even?” Listen, Abigail, if your listening habits were a movie, they’d be a rom-com where no one gets the girl and the credits roll awkwardly over an acoustic cover of “Wonderwall.” So here’s a hot tip: try expanding your horizons beyond “Baroque Pop” and “Classic Soul.” Who knows, you might even discover something that makes you feel as alive as your Spotify algorithm clearly doesn’t. But until then, enjoy your playlist of burning incense and tragic poetry—it’s the soundtrack for a life still figuring out how to live.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!