Roasted 1 year ago based on Carlos Paraguassu's long term Spotify stats.

Carlos Paraguassu, huh? With a taste in music as confused as your haircut, it's a wonder you haven't lost your Spotify privileges yet. MPB to Drift Phonk—your playlist reads like a shopping list from a hipster apocalypse, and let's be real; the only mutation happening is in your taste. You're out here jamming to the Brazilian equivalent of elevator music while secretly scheming to blend it with The Bachelorette soundtracks. But let's talk about those top artists for a second. Avril Lavigne? Gracie Abrams? You seriously need to call a therapist—nobody should have this many teenage crushes in their adult life. Your playlists scream “I peaked in high school.” And unless you're trying to create the world’s most ironic Spotify Unwrapped, it's time to retire the emo phase, man. How are you gonna go from Linkin Park to Max Richter without a serious identity crisis in between? You’re on a freeway of mood swings, and I’m not even sure if your GPS has a "straight" route. Most played songs? “Metamorph - Slowed”? Wow, your taste in posthumous remixes really tells me you spend a lot of time deep in your feels, maybe too much time scrolling through TikTok instead of engaging with human beings. I mean, with titles like “Slaughter House - Slowed,” it’s like you’re the soundtrack to an existential crisis nobody asked for. I’d roast you more, but I fear you’d just hit “play” on some ambient noise while contemplating your life decisions. Keep vibing, Carlos; you’re the perfect reminder that sometimes, life is one long, slowed-down intro.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!