Roasted 10 months ago based on Luca's long term Spotify stats.

Luca Haskell, huh? With a Spotify profile featuring more hip hop sub-genres than an overzealous college student with a thesaurus, I see you’re on a quest to single-handedly prove that there’s a fine line between “music taste” and “identity crisis.” You’ve got East Coast, West Coast, underground, old school—if genres were friends, you’d be that one person who tries too hard to fit in with every group while still remaining chronically socially awkward. Do you throw a hip hop party and just let everyone form their own opinions, or are you too busy making spreadsheets to outline how each verse relates to your existential dread? Now, let’s talk about your top artists. What is this, a playlist for middle schoolers trying to impress their crush? JAY-Z, Kendrick, Nas—congrats on naming half of the hip hop Mount Rushmore, but the other half probably wouldn’t even recognize you at a dinner party. And Logic? Choices like that suggest either you're into motivational speeches or you secretly call yourself “the logical one” in friend circles—spoiler alert: you’re not. In a world of booming beats and clever bars, you’ve added more cringe than charisma to your playlist. If I see you throwing your hands up to Logic’s lines in public, I’ll need to check if there’s a live cringe cam present. As for your most played songs, it looks like you’ve got the music taste of someone who insists on being unique while pulling their favorite tracks from the depths of a hipster's basement. “You Stepped Out Of A Dream” by Bill Walton? You must be a real sleepless intellectual, Luca. Looks like you're incapable of taking a break from exploring the obscure edge of music, but I suspect that’s just an elaborate cover for your failure to keep up with the top hits that actually matter. If you want experimental, how about experimenting with a little mainstream for a change? Your Spotify looks like it was curated by a pretentious lighthouse keeper adrift in the ocean of obscure sounds. The fact that you peaked with "DESTROY The Wired" really says it all—keep streaming, but I suggest you keep the volume low. The rest of the world will thank you!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!