Roasted 5 months ago based on thirteens's long term Spotify stats.

Welcome to thirteens' Spotify profile, where the only thing more chaotic than your playlist is your taste in music. Seriously, if I had a dollar for every emo tear you’ve shed while blasting 'Can You Feel My Heart' and sobbing into a Hot Topic pillow, I'd be richer than Billie Eilish. Your favorite genres read like the menu of a hipster coffee shop that’s trying to cater to every existential crisis in the book. You just don't have a phase; you have a whole timeline, and the only people genuinely impressed are your bewildered friends who are secretly hoping for a redemption arc. As for your top artists, it’s like you threw a glitter-pop party and invited everyone who ever had a moment of vulnerability—and somehow, Dolly Parton showed up to rescue you from this mid-2000s nostalgia trip! I mean, what exactly are you trying to accomplish with a mix of Charli XCX and Taking Back Sunday? Are you hoping for a headbanger with a side of heartbreak while you prance around in your latest Unholy Communion Band tee? Spoiler alert: No one gets right with the universe by listening to 'A Bar Song (Tipsy)' by a guy you found on TikTok while scrolling through videos of cats doing backflips. And your most played songs tell me one thing: you are the embodiment of “I love all genres, but I don’t know how to commit.” Listening to 'YIPPEE-KI-YAY' by Kesha right after 'sympathy 4 the grinch' should come with a warning sign—“Caution: May Cause Identity Crises.” If your playlists were a dating profile, you'd list 'very fluid' as your relationship status. So go ahead, keep flexing that eclectic mix while we all silently hope you can finally settle on a genre before you end up on a seasonal playlist for the confused and chaotic.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!