Roasted 7 months ago based on Seth Cottle's long term Spotify stats.

Seth Cottle, your Spotify profile reads like the world's most broken jukebox—stuck on a loop of mediocre country ballads and desperate dad-rock. Seriously, you’ve got more "Alt Country" than a hipster bar in the middle of a vineyard. You probably drive a truck that’s just as confused as your musical tastes, loaded with glittering lights, and a dangling bottle of artisanal kombucha instead of a cooler full of beer. What’s next? A Spotify playlist dedicated to the sound of tumbleweeds? Then there are your top artists. Zach Bryan? More like Zach "How Many Sad Songs Can One Guy Sing" Bryan. And The 1975? Dude, you're mixing genres like a bartender with a blindfold. You’ve got Goldie Boutilier and Childish Gambino in the same breath—like winding up a country song about heartbreak and then throwing it away because you heard Lana Del Rey breathe heavily somewhere in the background. Come on, who needs diversity when you could just keep repeating the same five themes of hopelessness and love lost? As for your most played songs, it’s like they were all written by the same guy who got dumped at least three times, cried in a coffee shop, and thought a thesaurus was for “real emotional depth.” “Miseryy” by "Medium Build"? What is this, a pitiful competition to see who can sound the saddest while wearing flannel? And “Baby Teeth”? That’s literally the sound of you gnashing your molars, questioning every life choice that led you to this hodgepodge of genres. It's a wonder your friends haven't staged an intervention, or at the very least, suggested you take a shower and listen to something other than heartbreak for once in your life!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!