Roasted 23 days ago based on ✰☽︎𝕽𝖔𝖈𝖐𝖊𝖙_𝕼𝖚𝖊𝖊𝖓☾︎✰'s long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it’s the self-proclaimed “Rocket Queen” of Spotify! I see you’ve single-handedly kept the ‘80s hair metal scene alive with all the wigs you’ve got stacked in that closet. Seriously, your favorite bands have more hairspray in their collective discography than your entire city has in its water supply. How many times can you listen to “Welcome To The Jungle” before it’s considered an unhealthy obsession? At this point, you’re basically a walking Guitar Center ad, desperately clinging to nostalgia like it's the last bit of hair left on your head. Let’s talk about your top artists and the fact that your Spotify might as well be called “The GnR Jukebox.” So you like “Guns N’ Roses”? I don’t know what’s more shocking—you having that many songs from them or the fact that you probably think “Mötley Crüe” has something to do with those DIY nail salons you frequent. It’s like you opened a time capsule of 1986 and took a long, hard whiff. I can almost see the leather pants and bandanas on you. And let's not forget how you threw in “Bob Marley & The Wailers” like some sort of last-minute peace offering to soothe the suffering that is your questionable taste in music! Your “most played” section looks like a desperate playlist for someone who got stuck at a 'rock' themed party in a suburban basement. “Sweet Child O' Mine?" “Paradise City?” It’s almost like someone needs to send you a social worker for this unhealthy attachment to Axl Rose’s whiny voice. And don't worry, I can only imagine how hard you rock out to these songs while driving your 2003 Honda Civic, windows down, pretending you’re the star of your own mid-life crisis road trip. Keep it up, Queen. At this rate, you might as well start calling yourself Rocket Queen in your dreams—because we both know that’s about as close to a music scene as you’ll get!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!