Roasted 2 years ago based on 𝒔's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Ｓ, your Spotify profile is like a sad mixtape made by a high schooler who cried too much during their emo phase. I can already picture you staring melancholically out of your bedroom window, clutching your artisanal vegan smoothie while listening to "Japanese Shoegaze" for the fifth time today. Seriously, you could start a support group for people who find solace in audio landscapes that sound like they were recorded in a giant sock. You’ve got more shoegaze in your life than sunlight; it’s like your room is a cave and the only thing echoing off the walls is angst. Your top artists list reads like a middle school band kid's wet dream mixed with that one friend who always wants to introduce you to obscure music no one's ever heard of. Fishmans? Radiohead? More like "Fish who?" and "Uh, are we still following that Radiohead?" And it’s cute that you think “Japanese Dream Pop” could somehow keep you above water while you’re on this sinking ship of melancholia. Do you even know what 'rock' is in your list, or is it just a placeholder for when your therapist asks you how you cope with life? And let’s talk about your most-played songs, shall we? You must have had quite the existential crisis to make “Don’t Look at Me” your anthem. Newsflash, buddy: the walls can hear you, and they’re judging. “Go Slowly”? More like “Go Home,” because apparently, you’ve already checked out of reality. Your playlist is a black hole of note barely caught by the light outside. Maybe try adding something with a pulse in there; I promise it won't bite you. You might actually enjoy a song that doesn’t leave you contemplating the depths of your sorrow while staring at a wall. Just a thought!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!