Roasted 2 years ago based on Emily Kettlewell's long term Spotify stats.

Emily Kettlewell, your Spotify profile reads like an identity crisis manifesting in musical form. Let's start with those favorite genres: atmospheric black metal, stoner rock, and you somehow shoehorning "Pop" into that chaos. It’s like you dragged a funeral into a rave and then asked for a side of bubblegum pop. Are you trying to summon demons or just ensure that every party you attend ends up with someone crying in the corner? At this point, you're just a step away from flashing an “I love killer whales” sticker at an underground black metal show and getting kicked out for being too cheerful. Oh, but don’t get me wrong; your taste in artists is a rollercoaster of confusion. You've got serious metal cred with Malevolence, then suddenly pull the emergency brake and throw in Lewis Capaldi. It's as if you enjoy your breakdowns alongside emotional ballads, and honestly, I think you just want to be sad in every conceivable way. You’re the musical equivalent of wearing a Misfits t-shirt while sobbing to Titanic's soundtrack. I mean, do we need to start a support group for your conflicting emotions, or can we just agree you peaked in high school and still listen to your ex’s Spotify playlists for that good old sense of loss? And don’t even get me started on your most-played songs. "Good Luck, Babe!" by Chappell Roan leading the pack? Classic! Right after a dark track about suffering – because nothing screams "I have my life together" like alternating between existential dread and a pop anthem about love. It's like you’re attending a therapy session, but instead of coping mechanisms, you’re blasting tracks that’ll give even your therapist whiplash. Here’s a thought: maybe consider a little less “Voidgaze” and a little more upbeat tunes unless you’re conducting research on how to make the vibe at a metal concert as awkward as possible.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!