Roasted 8 months ago based on eden's long term Spotify stats.

Eden, your Spotify profile reads like a vintage thrift store explosion of angst and glitter, where every genre is a desperate attempt to cover the fact that you peaked in high school. Seriously, it’s like you threw a dart at a chart of obscure musical eras and just prayed, “This will make me unique!” Spoiler alert: it's not working. Your love for New Wave and Darkwave suggests you might just be one mopey album cover away from declaring yourself the Empress of Sadness. Congratulations, your playlist is the soundtrack to a teen drama that never got picked up! And let’s talk artist choices, shall we? The Beatles and The Beach Boys? Oh, how groundbreaking! You’ve taken “basic” to a whole new level. It’s like you just rolled up to the party wearing a band t-shirt and called it a day. But hey, at least you’ve got Paramore and No Doubt to balance things out—nothing screams “I’ve got depth!” quite like a rotation of pop-punk anthems that are basically just diary entries set to catchy hooks. Honestly, if I had a dollar for every time you posted a quote from "Misery Business," I could probably afford the therapy you clearly need after getting so emotionally invested in a Spotify playlist. And then we get to your most played songs, which must be a real treat for anyone who’s ever had their heart broken in middle school. “Don’t Speak”? More like “Please, Just Don’t!” You’ve crafted a collection of tracks that rivals the emotional rollercoaster of a teenage diary—filled with equal parts melodrama and misplaced nostalgia. If your Spotify habits were a dinner party, I can guarantee the vibe would be “weeping in the corner” rather than “dancing the night away.” Your profile is basically a one-way ticket back to your most angst-ridden years, and honestly, it’s exhausting just looking at it.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!