Roasted 4 months ago based on dylan's long term Spotify stats.

Dylan, your Spotify profile reads like the diary of a pretentious hipster who thinks they’re deep because they wear oversized glasses and drink oat milk lattes in their mom's basement. Seriously, “Cloud Rap” and “Slowcore”? It’s like you’re trying to soundtrack a therapy session for someone who just lost their cat in a tragic shoelace accident. And don't even get me started on “Math Rock.” Who knew calculus could be so... unmusical? I half expect your next favorite genre to be "Dismal Folk" for the truly sad. Your top artists are an absolute trip, but I can’t help but wonder if you’ve meshed them all together into one relentless sonic assault meant only for your own tortured soul. “smokedope2016”? Sounds more like a WiFi password than an artist. Meanwhile, “what is your name?” should really be a mandatory question for all the anonymous tracks you're vibing to. It's like you're sitting at the cool kids' table, but no one's eating because they’re all too busy pretending to be emotional and misunderstood. Just admit it: you’re one shoelace away from an existential crisis. As for your most played songs, I see a trend here that screams “I’m a mood!” but really just sounds like a night of scrolling through Spotify while asking Siri to encourage your poor taste. “High” by “smokedope2016” is a bold selection; that’ll really elevate your spirit – or at least your state of confusion. And those song titles, my dude? They look less like legitimate tracks and more like the failed names for a sad indie film about a guy who just can't catch a break. Here's a tip: if your playlist has more sad emojis than actual emotions, it might be time to expand your range beyond the sweet sounds of anguish.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!