Roasted 1 year ago based on mâtineaux's long term Spotify stats.

Hey mâtineaux, I see your Spotify profile reads like a hipster’s fever dream. You’ve got more genres crammed into your favorites than a confused DJ at a middle school dance. "Shibuya-Kei"? Really? I knew you were trying to sound cultured, but claiming that genre is like wearing a beret while sipping overpriced coffee—it's less about the music and more about pretending you know what you’re talking about. No one’s buying it, buddy. Your top artists are an eclectic mix that screams, “I have an identity crisis and four hours worth of free time on my hands!” Not to mention the fact that half of them sound like they need serious help with their branding. “Lamp”? You must have a whole garage sale of unused furniture in your life. And let’s hold a moment of silence for the fact that you willingly chose “K-Pop” after dropping “Bossa Nova.” What gave? Did you discover your life’s calling as a walking cultural appropriation exhibit? And as for your most played songs, I’ve seen less random selection on a game show wheel. "Slumber Rain"? Sounds like when you try to think of a name for your sad boy indie project in high school. “I Just Threw Out The Love Of My Dreams”? That’s cute; I bet everyone on this playlist had the same fate in your love life. You might want to consider changing the title of your profile from ‘mâtineaux’ to ‘Most Likely to Fall Asleep at a Party’ because, let’s be real, your taste is so niche that it’s practically a sleep aid.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!