Roasted 1 year ago based on Ed M's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, Ed M, the most indecisive music lover to ever hit the “shuffle” button. Your Spotify profile looks like a “pick your poison” menu for someone with chronic identity crises. Pop, Stoner Metal, and Indie Pop? Sounds like you’re trying to win an award for the most awkward dinner party playlist. Seriously, dude, did you curate this selection while sitting in a cloud of smoke, constantly switching moods, and having existential conversations with your houseplants? And let's not even start on your top artists—who knew an array of tunes could read like the avant-garde diary of a teenager trying to impress their first crush? R.A.P. Ferreira and girl in red are amazing, but pair those with Taylor Swift and Bo Burnham, and suddenly your profile looks like a middle school mixtape covering every possible cringe. I get it; you want them to know you’re “deep” because you listen to experimental hip hop at 3 AM while existentially spiraling. Spoiler alert: The only thing deeper is your Spotify history filled with “Who the hell is ‘Sasquatch’?” Most played songs? Wow, congrats on discovering female artists who evoke feelings of sadness—you fit perfectly into that millennial stereotype of using music as therapy. But with "consolation" played twice and “girl in red” taking half your listens, are you hoping to become a love guru or just rehash past heartbreaks? It's 2023, Ed—it's time to step out of your "experimental" hole and try branching out. Because if I see "serotonin" playing in your top tracks one more time, I might just combust from the sheer irony of being around your playlist and your lack of a cohesive taste.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!