Roasted 1 year ago based on Justin Hansen's long term Spotify stats.

Justin Hansen, you say you’re into "pop" and "indie" music, but let's face it: your taste is less like a trendsetter and more like a lost tourist flipping through the channels at 2 a.m. Who thought "Stomp And Holler" deserved a spot on anyone's favorite genres? Are you secretly an audition tape for a talent show where the judges are your stuffed animals? I can picture it now — you passionately explain why your playlist is the ultimate soundtrack for those awkward moments where you try to seem deep and misunderstood. Spoiler alert: it’s really just a buffet of musical meltdowns waiting to happen. Your top artists scream, "I might be a quirky hipster or just an indecisive nineteen-year-old whose playlist looks more like a modern art project." EDEN, Hozier, and The Lumineers? Congratulations, you’ve officially checked off the boxes for every “deep” Instagram caption ever. I don’t know if you’re trying to be profound or if you just have an uncanny ability to find the most mediocre music that only plays in coffee shops where the barista looks at you with pity while you sip your overpriced soy latte. Not even Starbucks could save your musical credibility at this point. And let’s discuss those most played songs, because wow, your Spotify is a literal "What Not To Listen To" guide. "Next Time" by the Original StarKid Cast? Surely you’re kidding. Are you hoping that one day you’ll be known as the biggest StarKid aficionado this side of your mom's basement? "Take A Hint" is the perfect metaphor for your music selection — it’s time to take one, buddy. Seriously, perhaps the next time you're adding to your Spotify, consider upgrading your playlist with anything that doesn't sound like background music for a middle school musical. It’s called diversity; maybe give it a shot!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!