Roasted 8 months ago based on Byron Wilson's long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it's BYRN-WLSN, the musical hipster that makes the rest of us feel like we’re in a Taylor Swift concert. Seriously, with favorites like “Gothic Rock” and “Neo-Psychedelic,” it’s like you crawled out of an artsy attic in a dystopian novel and decided to turn your Spotify into a pretentious gallery of sonic confusion. I bet you think the world belongs to you because you listen to “Post-Punk” while wearing your thrift-store band t-shirt that’s somehow even out-of-date for the thrift store. Your top tracks read like a rejection letter from a hipster record label. If “#3” by Aphex Twin is your most played song, then I can only assume that your life is a long-running episode of “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things.” You’ve got “Animal Collective” and “Viagra Boys” on repeat; I’m not sure whether you’re trying to curate a soundscape for a lo-fi YouTube video or simply make us all question our life choices. Honestly, how many hours of existential dread do you have to endure before hitting “shuffle” on something in the top 40? And please, do enlighten us about your monochrome aesthetic while you sip your overpriced oat milk latte. The combined overthinking of your top artists—like “Black Country, New Road” and “black midi”—makes me feel like I should be taking notes for a PhD in “I Don’t Get What’s Going On.” It’s as though you’re one playlist away from slipping into a crisis of identity. So next time you hit that “play” button, maybe consider that the rest of us just want to dance, not ponder our existence like we're stuck in a never-ending art film.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!