Roasted 2 years ago based on David Burns's long term Spotify stats.

David Burns, huh? Looks like your Spotify profile is the musical equivalent of a man-bun wearing, artisan coffee-sipping hipster with a penchant for flannel and an unshakable belief that “Stomp And Holler” is a genre worthy of serious consideration. Are you collecting folk artists like they’re Pokémon, or did you just lose a bet and have to pretend “Indie Soul” is something more than your sad attempt to fit in with the cool kids? It’s like your playlist is a Tinder profile for every acoustic guitar-strumming wannabe who thinks they can woo you with their emotional lyrics and questionable beard maintenance. Your music taste is so eclectic, it’s practically a buffet of disappointment. I mean, “Folk-Pop” and “Indie Folk”? Did you just accidentally stick your iTunes playlist under the couch and pull it out when you thought it was cool again? Seriously, can we get some originality here? It’s like you’re trying to curate a soundtrack for a sad indie movie that never got made. As if I can picture you sitting alone in a coffee shop, sipping on a gluten-free milk substitute, listening to “Old Pine” on repeat, weeping softly as the barista confirms that yes, you are indeed a cliche trapped in a vintage shop. But hands down, your most played songs are a masterpiece of mediocrity. "You Should Probably Leave," huh? Spoiler alert: everyone listening to this is already wondering why they don't just leave this playlist until further notice. And let’s be real, if I see “Days Of Lantana” one more time, I might just explode from second-hand cringeworthiness. You’re like a walking “I’m too cool for Top 40 radio” ad, but all I hear is your anxious desperation to be significant while living comfortably in the nest of the utterly “average.” Keep rocking that “no one gets me” vibe, but remember, sometimes, it’s okay to embrace a little pop once in a while.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!