Roasted 1 month ago based on Hey_its_david's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Hey_its_david, the only person I know who thinks “shoegaze” is a genre and not just a celebration of your complete lack of social life. Your Spotify profile looks like a desperate attempt to blend in with a misunderstood teenage goth — the kind who wears black socks with sandals and thinks that makes them edgy. If you had a nickel for every obscure artist you Spotify-stalked while avoiding real human interaction, you'd still be broke. Seriously, put down the glitter and take a light-year vacation from that emo basement. Your playlist screams "artsy" while serving as a cover for the fact you’re still trying to figure out if “Riot Grrrl” is a band or your ex-girlfriend's protest against your terrible dating life. And your top songs? “Undress” by "Pretty Sick"? Buddy, if you think those are the right notes to serenade a girl, you might as well start practicing your karaoke rendition of “Forever Alone” because that’s the only thing you’re nailing. Meanwhile, “Hyperpop” and “Speedcore” could really just be the soundtrack to your sad life choices playing on repeat while everyone else processes feelings through TikTok memes. Don’t even get me started on your artist choices. Deftones and Machine Girl? Cool, if only you had the personality to match the aesthetic you’re trying to cultivate. It’s like you’re trying to reinvent the wheel, but you somehow ended up building a unicycle while haphazardly listening to “My Own Summer.” Spoiler alert: you’re still just riding around in circles, David. Here's a tip: pour some of that energy into actually going out and experiencing life instead of living vicariously through glorified underground bands. Get it together, man!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!