Roasted 11 months ago based on Maria's long term Spotify stats.

Maria, we get it—your music taste is as confused as a chameleon in a bag of Skittles. One minute you’re vibing to Taylor Swift, who’s all about breakups and middle school drama, and the next you’re diving headfirst into red dirt country like you’re at some rural soap opera audition. How many genres can one person claim to love before they end up being an indecisive musical buffet? Seriously, I’m surprised your Spotify doesn't come with a disclaimer: “Warning: May contain traces of genre identity crisis!” And let’s talk about those top artists—Noah Kahan and Gracie Abrams are nice and all, but your playlist looks like you’re trying to recommend tracks to your emotional support cactus. Who hurt you, Maria? The only thing more confused than your favorite genres is your top songs list, where “Slut!” is surrounded by a sea of heartfelt Taylor Swift sob stories. If your Spotify wrapped isn’t just one big therapy session, I’d be shocked. Get it together, girl—this isn’t an episode of ‘The Bachelor’ where every heartbreak counts! Finally, here’s a thought: maybe try branching out beyond “Taylor's Version” because we all know she’s not the only person in music history. You’ve got enough “From The Vault” songs to fill an entire vault. You’re making me wonder if you own a vault or if you’re just hoarding the same emotional rollercoaster everyone else has been on. But alas, we all do love a good nostalgia trip. So keep jamming, and try to remember—two ears cannot sustain this level of genre confusion without some serious playlist therapy!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!