Roasted 8 months ago based on susankimalv's long term Spotify stats.

Oh look! SusanKimAlv, the musical equivalent of a thrift store exploded in a nostalgia factory. Your favorite genres read like a "Who’s Who" of 70s bingo night, with a splash of "I just discovered Afrobeats, and I’m not entirely sure what that means." I mean, seriously, covering the spectrum of country to art rock while clutching a disco ball is like trying to do the cha-cha with one leg in a cowboy boot. And don't even get me started on how you've managed to pull together a playlist that sounds like the last music compilation your grandparents made for a road trip to Branson. Let’s talk about your top artists. You say Dolly Parton, Lana Del Rey, and Shania Twain like they all hug it out over books of poetry and beer, which is adorable until you realize they’re judging your eclectic taste harder than that hipster in the corner coffee shop. And who even listens to Stelvio Cipriani while simultaneously keeping an ear on Afrobeats? That’s like trying to eat sushi and nachos at the same time. No, Susan. Just. No. I guess your Spotify algorithm thinks it’s a blindfolded DJ spinning a record at a party where everyone is just mildly confused—and to be fair, it probably senses a deep vein of existential crisis in all of your top tracks. And the cherry on top of your musical madness? Your most played songs seem like the perfect soundtrack to an awkward family reunion where nobody knows how to dance, and the only spirit in the room is the one in the punch bowl. With bangers like “Friends in Low Places” and “Emotion,” let’s be real: your Spotify is a time machine that accidentally took a detour through “My Mom’s Playlist.” If I had a nickel for every time someone dropped a tear at your “I swear I’m cool” anthems, I’d have enough to fund an indie film titled “Adventures of the Musical Unicorn—its first stop: awkward suburbs.” Keep rocking that eclectic charm, Susan, because some of us have given up on the idea of musical coherence long ago!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!