Roasted 2 years ago based on zackroach0's long term Spotify stats.

Zackroach0, your Spotify profile reads like a mid-2000s MySpace page that survived the apocalypse but forgot to change its wardrobe. Seriously, with a favorite genre list longer than a phone book and bearing titles that sound about as cool as a dad trying to relate to his kids, it’s astonishing how deep your love for tragic emo ballads runs. It’s like you gathered every angsty teen’s complaints, tossed them into a blender, and served up a smoothie of despair that's just a hair too upbeat with a side of permanent wave hair. Your obsession with Polyphia should come with a warning label: “For people who find their soulmates in guitar solos instead of actual humans.” You’ve got more Polyphia tracks on repeat than they have actual songs, and at this point, it’s less of a musical taste and more like a cry for help disguised as playlists. I mean, is the rest of the world so overwhelming that you need to drown it out with the sound of increasingly complex math rock guitar riffs? Forget therapy; just invite your friends over for a Polyphia karaoke night—oh wait, you don’t have any friends because they’ve all abandoned you after the eighth consecutive jam session! And let’s talk about your top artists, where the vibe dances between "please take me seriously” and “I’m unashamedly a middle school kid at heart.” The inclusion of Linkin Park should be an obvious red flag, not just for the nostalgia, but because it screams “I still wear wristbands and have unresolved issues.” You’ve chosen more genres than a Netflix account, but somehow, your music taste is still as predictable as a cliché romantic movie plot. If variety is the spice of life, then congratulations, my friend—your playlist is a bland, never-ending bowl of oatmeal.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!