Roasted 2 years ago based on Abi's long term Spotify stats.

Abi, your Spotify profile reads like the confused diary of a teenager on a perpetual sugar high. "Pop," "Rock," and "POV: Indie"? Those genres aren't just eclectic; they sound like you threw a bunch of music terms into a blender and hoped for the best. I mean, seriously, the only thing more chaotic than your taste in music is your understanding of the term “indie.” The way you embrace both Classic Rock and Bedroom Pop makes it seem like you haven’t upgraded your music libraries since 2012, but hey, who needs growth in their playlist when you can simply keep hitting “shuffle” until something isn’t completely embarrassing? And can we talk about your top artists? If your musical taste were any more basic, it would have a Starbucks drink named after it. Taylor Swift and Harry Styles dominate your list—two artists whose songs you can't even relate to since you're more likely to spend a Saturday night binge-watching "Bluey" than living their lyrics. "Fleetwood Mac" isn't the hidden gem you think they are; they’re just a one-way ticket to a mid-life crisis. And speaking of crisis, who let you add René Aubry to your top artist list? Sounds like a perfect way to signal, "I’m really lost, and this French composer is the soundtrack to my existential dread." But here's the kicker: your most played songs list is just a cry for help. The fact that “Give It To Me” by Timbaland is a stand-out track suggests you haven't gotten over your early 2000s emo phase. You mix Taylor Swift's heartbreak with Harry Styles' desperation like you’re trying to write the world's saddest rom-com soundtrack. Seriously, with a combination of "Are You Bored Yet?" and “End Game," the only thing that’s clear is that your love life has also been “august”—as in, barely springing into existence. So grab a dictionary, Google “music criticism,” and maybe—just maybe—consider expanding your horizons beyond basic Spotify pop culture!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!