Roasted 7 months ago based on Freddie Clark's long term Spotify stats.

Freddie Clark, your Spotify profile reads like a hipster’s grocery list for an emotional crisis. Seriously, “Art Rock” and “Shoegaze”? What is this, a sad high school poetry club meeting in a dimly-lit coffee shop? I bet you have a subscription for the scent of “ironic despair” so you can really vibe with those “dream pop” melodies while contemplating the meaning of life. Is your playlist the soundtrack for a therapy session with a therapist who just got dumped? Because every time I look at your favorite genres, I feel like I need to call 911 for some serious emotional support. Now, let's talk about your top artists. Radiohead, The Smiths, Elliott Smith? Congratulations, you’ve officially entered the UNESCO World Heritage Site of Sad Bops. Listening to your playlist is like joining a group of well-dressed zombies lamenting their existential dread while swirling overpriced lattes. And what’s with all the songs dominated by The Strokes? Dude, if you played any more of them, you'd become the official spokesperson for people under 30 who can't stop playing it safe with nostalgia. Do you actually want to be The Strokes' biggest fan or are you just trying to relive your angsty teenager years? Spoiler alert: they’ve moved on; maybe you should too. Finally, your most played songs list reads like a diary entry from someone who thinks crying at midnight while wearing a turtleneck is a legitimate mood. “Between The Bars”? Is that code for the bars keeping you from living your best life, Freddie? At this point, I’m convinced your Spotify account is just a soundtrack for walking around your apartment avoiding any conversation that isn’t about which Cocteau Twin you relate to the most. So here’s a suggestion: maybe shuffle those tracks a little? Let in a little light, before we start labeling your profile as a safe space for all things somber and melancholic!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!