Roasted 2 years ago based on Aspen <3's long term Spotify stats.

Well, Koala <3, your Spotify profile reads like a teenage breakup playlist that just can't get enough of the melodrama. The sheer number of genres you've stuffed in there could power a small indie art festival. I mean, "Bedroom Pop," "Pixel," and "Art Pop"? Are you curating a music catalog or just trying to adjust your vibe levels to match your awkward teenage angst? Honestly, it looks like your music taste was crafted on a Pinterest board filled with "how to be sad and stylish." Looking at your top artists, I can't help but wonder if you think "Indie Pop" is a legitimate personality trait. With the number of times you play Olivia Rodrigo, it’s like you're trying to channel the spirit of 13-year-olds everywhere. Taylor Swift and Adele show up nonstop; it's like you have both a emotional muse and a safety blanket wrapped around you at all times. Are you trying to prepare for your next crying session, or are you just hedging all your bets on projecting an enigmatic spirit? Spoiler alert: you just come off as a confused hipster who can’t pick a vibe. And let's talk about your "most played songs"—did you lose a bet that required you to play songs that read like a diary of your friend’s latest high school drama? "Let You Break My Heart Again," followed by "enough for you"? Seriously? Are you okay, or are you composing a tragic ballad about your deep-seated emotional turmoil? I don’t know whether to send you a therapist's number or recommend you get a Spotify wrap-up that doesn't involve so much crying. Either way, sweet Koala, it’s time to explore other emotions...or at least, a few more upbeat tracks!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!