Roasted 1 year ago based on 🦇 Alex 🦇's long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it’s Alex, the ultimate one-man metal convention! Seriously, I didn’t realize Spotify had a feature for people whose musical preferences are as diverse as a mid-2000s Hot Topic clearance rack. If loving a dozen different types of metal is wrong, I’d hate to see what you think is right. Your favorite genres read like a list of things that probably scare geriatrics and puppies alike. You better hope your Spotify account has a therapist on speed dial because your taste screams “I have feelings, and I’m going to scream about them” in an echoey, distorted voice. Now, onto your top artists—wow, it's like a lineup for the Angriest Album of All Time! Metallica and Megadeth? Admittedly, classics. But let’s just say, no one’s taking you seriously when you shout “CURTA'N WALL” above the din of any actual conversation. Is that a band or a storm warning? Your music choices could write a textbook on how to alienate every person at a party—except, of course, for that solitary corner of the room where everyone’s just staring at you while trying to pretend that “Thrash Metal Karaoke” isn’t a thing. And let's talk about that “Most Played” list—no wonder your playlists look like the soundtrack to a funeral for someone who never got over their ex. You’ve got more songs about darkness and despair than a group of goth kids at a poetry slam. If I had a dollar for every time one of your top songs included “War” or “Fear,” I'd definitely invest in earplugs. But hey, at least you’re consistent; you’ve managed to curate a playlist that sounds like the soundtrack to a horror movie that nobody wanted to make in the first place. Keep on rocking that angst, Alex. You’re making high school emo kids proud!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!