Roasted 5 months ago based on Moose's long term Spotify stats.

Moose, your Spotify profile reads like the sad Tinder bio of a theatre kid who just discovered a Hot Topic clearance rack. Seriously, musical theatre as a favorite genre? It's like saying your taste in food is 90% tapioca pudding and 10% cardboard. And you thought it was a good idea to pair that with emo and pop-punk? I guess it’s a requirement for you to wear black skinny jeans while crying into your diary about unrequited love—of which there’s no shortage, given your playlist. Your top artists are the kind of musical rollercoaster that leaves us wondering if you need therapy or just a stronger Wi-Fi connection. One minute you’re belting out ballads from "Hazbin Hotel," and the next you’re crying to My Chemical Romance while trying not to choke on your Ed Sheeran tear-jerkers. Don't get me started on your fixation with sea shanties; is that really what you belt out while going through your mid-life crisis? A pirate's life is not for you, Moose. Save the swashbuckling for the cringe TikTok dances. And oh, the songs you chose to obsess over! “Too Sweet” by Hozier? Sure, if you like songs that make you want to cuddle your cat while questioning every life decision you’ve ever made. “Stick Season” sounds like your love life feels—just a sad reminder that you peaked in high school. Let’s be real: your playlists are like the world's unfunniest sitcom that somehow made it to 10 seasons. At this point, everyone just wants to click "Next" faster than you can say “bedroom pop.” Even your Spotify wrapped should come with an apology.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!