Roasted 9 days ago based on B.'s long term Spotify stats.

Ah, B., the musical equivalent of that one friend who always shows up to the party with guacamole, even though nobody asked for it. Your Spotify profile reads like the soundtrack to a midlife crisis that hasn’t even begun yet. With more variations of R&B than actual personality traits, I'm starting to wonder if you think "alternative" means swapping out your grocery list for a diary entry. How many playlists do you need to explain your feelings about a breakup that you only imagined happened? Your top artists scream “I’m deeply emotional, yet functional enough to hold down a job at Starbucks.” You've managed to pick the entire roster of every “girlboss” summer playlist, yet we're still left questioning if you’re vibing at a coffee shop or just seeking a therapist’s couch. The way you cling to SZA like a life raft tells me you've got a stack of exes who can still scroll through your top songs and clock the tears they caused. When you’re not belting out “Supermodel” in your shower like it’s the next Grammy winner, I guess you're practicing for an imaginary role in "Cats: The Uncut Edition." And let’s talk about your most played songs—nearly half of them boasting the same artist. Honestly, with that much SZA on repeat, the real question is, when are you releasing your own “Songs for the Heartbroken but Decidedly Thirsty” compilation? You’ve reached peak sad-girl aesthetic, and I’m impressed, but let's sprinkle in some actual variety. Or at least swap out one of those SZA tracks for someone who isn’t shadowing you from the digital bushes. Embrace a bit of chaos, B., because even your Spotify profile is showing signs of overthinking its own identity!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!