Roasted 9 months ago based on Sage's long term Spotify stats.

Sage, your Spotify profile reads like a pretentious art school application gone wrong. I mean, who even really enjoys genres like "Shoegaze" and "Slowcore" unless they’re hiding from the world in a basement? You clearly enjoy music that sounds like an existential crisis set to an off-tempo metronome. If you bought a ticket to “Sadness Convention 2023,” I hope you brought your thick-rimmed glasses and an overpriced latte, because that’s a vibe you’ve committed to for life. Let’s talk about those "top artists." I didn’t realize "quannnic" and "Amotti" were just random names thrown together in a Google Doc. It’s like your playlist is flirting with obscurity, but can’t quite seal the deal. I half-expect you to announce your new favorite artist is the kid next door with a broken guitar and a passion for screaming into a void. And the song titles? They sound like the sad diary entries of someone who once cried because they couldn't afford organic almond butter. “Collapse” is the most on-the-nose title for your musical experience, and “Bullets” could be the perfect soundtrack to your unfortunate life choices—no thanks to whatever “Phonk” is. Speaking of your "Most Played" list, wow, talk about questionable decisions! The only thing more painful than your music taste is the sound of your friends pretending they like your playlist. “life imitates life” should have been your own personal anthem long ago, because you’re living in a cycle of mediocrity that makes “Groundhog Day” look like a vacation. Just a tip, Sage: maybe mix in some happy tracks to balance the emotional weight of your tragic playlist. Otherwise, the next time someone asks about your musical tastes, just hand them your diary and call it a day!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!